the first few sentences
jotted notes
the pearl of an idea
the motif
a seduction
a letter of introduction to a grand theme
if one believes in those sorts of things
But in all matters of ambition
there is awkwardness and uncertainty
until there is flight—
my heart flutters
my voice quivers
my chest shakes
struggling to keep this nakedness from my face.
In a dream once
I was the boy I once was
singing high and pure
a clarion made of man
a soul uncomplexed and pure—
and this is the voice I would sing to you with—
not as a boy, but with that purity,
that unseeing love.
We forget though
that all things are made and are made to decay—
even tears
should be left out in the rain.
The last few sentences
are reminders
of all we have learned.
The theme finished
recapitulated as a caress
a few lines more. . .
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Fancy Footwork
Fancy Footwork, by Chromeo. The video is intriguing, working, as it does, on many different levels. The song itself is a lot of fun.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Boo and hiss...
Tonight's Middleman likely to be the last. What a fun series. A crying shame it was on Monday nights at ten o'clock on ABC Family...
Sunday, August 31, 2008
German Bold Italic
German Bold Italic, by Towa Tei and Kylie Minogue. This abstract piece was something of a hit in Japan.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
Deep Inside These Walls
Deep Inside These Walls, by JJ Flores and Steve Smooth. Warning: may be NSFW. Your mileage may vary.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Adding value
Here's an angry diary at dKos about television coverage on the liberally-beloved MSNBC.
There's a reason why I don't watch TV anymore; actually, there are a bunch of reasons. First, commercials suck. 15-20 minutes of every hour of programming is commercials. Second, a lot of the programming sucks. And third, the programming that doesn't suck is available through other means: good shows end up on the iTunes store or come out on DVD. (Alternatively, you can get a Tivo).
But news shows are particularly bad because of three factors. First, news shows hire commentators who have agendas. To make up for this they tend to have multiple people on with agendas, as if an increased volume of opinion will actually create insight. Instead it creates rather boring TV where the emotional drama is about ideology and not about a story or a recognizable human relationship. Second, these pundits tend to obsess about process and ignore objectives. It may have been funny to watch cable TV news channels twitter about madly trying to guess Obama's VP choice, but it actually makes for uninformative TV. And third, cable TV shows have bought into the mistaken idea that their job is to provide value above and beyond reporting the news: which is why every cable TV channel provides extensive commentary. The reality is, the power of TV is its ability to show the news, in real time, in pictures. Anything beyond that tends to distract from its true value.
There's a reason why I don't watch TV anymore; actually, there are a bunch of reasons. First, commercials suck. 15-20 minutes of every hour of programming is commercials. Second, a lot of the programming sucks. And third, the programming that doesn't suck is available through other means: good shows end up on the iTunes store or come out on DVD. (Alternatively, you can get a Tivo).
But news shows are particularly bad because of three factors. First, news shows hire commentators who have agendas. To make up for this they tend to have multiple people on with agendas, as if an increased volume of opinion will actually create insight. Instead it creates rather boring TV where the emotional drama is about ideology and not about a story or a recognizable human relationship. Second, these pundits tend to obsess about process and ignore objectives. It may have been funny to watch cable TV news channels twitter about madly trying to guess Obama's VP choice, but it actually makes for uninformative TV. And third, cable TV shows have bought into the mistaken idea that their job is to provide value above and beyond reporting the news: which is why every cable TV channel provides extensive commentary. The reality is, the power of TV is its ability to show the news, in real time, in pictures. Anything beyond that tends to distract from its true value.
Can McCain draw a crowd?
Josh Marshall notes:
Update: Mile High Stadium is packed. Amazing.
If you're bummed about not getting a ticket to watch the Obama speech at the Invesco Center, you'll be happy to know they're still giving away tickets for John McCain's veep announcement tomorrow at the aptly-named 12,000 seat Nutter Cente
Update: Mile High Stadium is packed. Amazing.
ECC groups announced
Man Utd and Liverpool look to be in the most interesting groups. I'm sure the Celtic-Man Utd games will be spectacular.
More info here.
More info here.
Goodbye arctic ice
This animation in Google Earth shows satellite data of Arctic sea ice concentration from May 25 to August 21, 2008. Note how the decline rate speeds up during August, with strong losses north of Siberia. For more details, visit http://nsidc.org/arcticseaicenews/.
(h/t Juan Cole)
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Distractions
Distractions, by Zero 7. I love this song, but the video actually, ahem, distracts from how good it is.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Williamsburg Will Oldham Horror
Williamsburg Will Oldham Horror, by Jeffrey Lewis. This song made me laugh.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Bicycle kicks
One of the hardest and dangerous types of kicks to make in football. Here are two examples by Ronaldinho.
This first example has English commentary, from a game against Villareal in 2006.
This second example is a better example of a bicycle kick, from a game against Athletico Madrid.
This first example has English commentary, from a game against Villareal in 2006.
This second example is a better example of a bicycle kick, from a game against Athletico Madrid.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Pretzel Logic
Pretzel Logic, the classic Steely Dan song performed by the New York Rock and Soul Revue.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Market realities
So does free-market capitalism work or not?
I mean, if we as a nation truly believe in deregulation and free-market capitalism then we should just stand by and let these venerable companies fail. Right? We can't be held responsible for the incompetence of their corporate officers who pursued policies of short term profits without an eye on long term realities... [/snark]
Without a doubt, however, look to Republican free-market politicians to be among the loudest voices in favor of this corporate bailout, just as they have applauded the Federal Reserve's interference with Bears-Stearns, while blaming the mortgage crisis on a lack of personal morality and our economic problems on being a bunch of whiners.
The Big 3 Detroit-based automakers are seeking about $25 billion in federal loans as they struggle to ride out a steep downturn in U.S. auto sales, The Wall Street Journal reported on Friday.
I mean, if we as a nation truly believe in deregulation and free-market capitalism then we should just stand by and let these venerable companies fail. Right? We can't be held responsible for the incompetence of their corporate officers who pursued policies of short term profits without an eye on long term realities... [/snark]
Without a doubt, however, look to Republican free-market politicians to be among the loudest voices in favor of this corporate bailout, just as they have applauded the Federal Reserve's interference with Bears-Stearns, while blaming the mortgage crisis on a lack of personal morality and our economic problems on being a bunch of whiners.
Laughing at Real Madrid
I'm laughing at Real Madrid after reading that star striker Robinho is desperate to leave Spain to play for Chelsea in the English Premier League. The soccer world was a bit gaga this summer with a fantastic Euro2008, but also with Real Madrid's inpolitic and public pursuit of Cristiano Ronaldo, Manchester United's star winger, and one of the best footballers currently playing the game.
Real Madrid's pursuit of Cristiano Ronaldo fizzled, and Cristiano Ronaldo is currently rehabilitating from an ankle injury and will be playing for Man Utd in early October. The Red Devils are going to need his talent, since Chelsea will likely be the team to beat this season.
Real Madrid's pursuit of Cristiano Ronaldo fizzled, and Cristiano Ronaldo is currently rehabilitating from an ankle injury and will be playing for Man Utd in early October. The Red Devils are going to need his talent, since Chelsea will likely be the team to beat this season.
Schadenfreude! (With some heartfelt wine advice.)
The news that Wine Spectator magazine was scammed into giving an Award of Excellence to a non-existent restaurant has been greeted with guffaws by schadenfreude fans and with fury by the magazine’s editor.
Wine Spectator is a lifestyle magazine, not a wine magazine. If you don't understand what I mean, then take a look at Wine Spectator one day when you are checking out at the liquor store and pay attention to the ads.
The key thing to remember about Wine Spectator scores is that it is not a scale from 0-100, as you might imagine when you see a score of 87 or 79. Rather it is a scale from 51-100. So when a wine has a score of 90, it is really an 80, and when a wine is 75 it is really a 70.
The best way to buy wine is to find a store that consistently stocks good wine, whose owners and managers are dedicated to carrying and selling good product. If you find such a store in your area, patronize it religiously. Then you don't need Wine Spectator or other guides, only a willingness to explore and find hidden delights (One of the joys of wine is that it varies from year to year, from field to field, from winemaker to winemaker. It is ephemeral. Most wines cannot be cellared. It is meant to be drunk and enjoyed, preferably shared with friends.).
Wine Spectator is a lifestyle magazine, not a wine magazine. If you don't understand what I mean, then take a look at Wine Spectator one day when you are checking out at the liquor store and pay attention to the ads.
The key thing to remember about Wine Spectator scores is that it is not a scale from 0-100, as you might imagine when you see a score of 87 or 79. Rather it is a scale from 51-100. So when a wine has a score of 90, it is really an 80, and when a wine is 75 it is really a 70.
The best way to buy wine is to find a store that consistently stocks good wine, whose owners and managers are dedicated to carrying and selling good product. If you find such a store in your area, patronize it religiously. Then you don't need Wine Spectator or other guides, only a willingness to explore and find hidden delights (One of the joys of wine is that it varies from year to year, from field to field, from winemaker to winemaker. It is ephemeral. Most wines cannot be cellared. It is meant to be drunk and enjoyed, preferably shared with friends.).
The Demo Unleashed
Been playing and replaying the recently released demo for The Force Unleashed.
Joystiq has posted a hefty chunk of the upcoming book The Art and Making of The Force Unleashed. Contains spoilers, insight into the corporate creative process (like seeing sausage being made, ugh), and lots of cool art.
Joystiq has posted a hefty chunk of the upcoming book The Art and Making of The Force Unleashed. Contains spoilers, insight into the corporate creative process (like seeing sausage being made, ugh), and lots of cool art.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Bonafide Lovin'
Bonafide Lovin', by Chromeo. I think I might be late to an internet meme somewhere. Cool (note, not cuil) video though.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Quotable
"No one should have to beg another person for his or her life. It's a soul-crushing experience." -- Sarah Gliege, rape victim.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Losing the younger demographic?
Teens Totally Not Into Olympics
Its hard to know what's going on without actually talking to a lot of teens and getting some real data. But at first glance, it could be that NBC's crappy coverage (its need to talk about only Americans, its need to do heart-wrenching bios of every athlete (He stubbed his toe last week, but he's determined to come back and win for his country.), and its general need to blather mindlessly) could be the nail that kills the Olympics for the media savvy.
Or maybe I'm just projecting?
Only 46 percent of teens surveyed by Harris Interactive showed any interest in watching the Olympics. And if teens are indeed abstaining, it's not because they think that the Olympics are a crass, greedy commercial enterprise -- in fact, 71 percent of those polled "were likely to agree that the games are about more than merely medals and marketing," according to Harris Interactive. So why won't they watch? Because it's not convenient for them.
"Teens want quick-hitting videos," says Bill Carter, a partner at youth marketing agency Fuse Marketing. "They don't want the lead-up and they don't want the analysis. They just want the video. And I'm optimistic that NBC is doing delivering this better than they have before. Although, to watch the [mens freestyle swimming] relay this morning, I still had to download 11 minutes of video, and fast forward through the first 6 minutes to get to the race."
Its hard to know what's going on without actually talking to a lot of teens and getting some real data. But at first glance, it could be that NBC's crappy coverage (its need to talk about only Americans, its need to do heart-wrenching bios of every athlete (He stubbed his toe last week, but he's determined to come back and win for his country.), and its general need to blather mindlessly) could be the nail that kills the Olympics for the media savvy.
Or maybe I'm just projecting?
Monday, August 11, 2008
I've never been to [barf]
I've never been to me is everything a song shouldn't be: pompous, condescending, patronizing, saccharine, and insincere. Proof positive that singing about the joys of being a kept woman is one way to make it big.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
Well Boo
Edwards admits to affair, lied as candidate.
Well, this story certainly continues the Democrats have penises narrative that the press so eagerly salivates over (i.e.: Never mind the fact that McCain had an affair with Cindy before they were married.). It also shows a degree of hubris that is unbecoming: had Edwards been the one to secure the nomination, this could have been the October surprise that would have doomed the U.S. to four more years of Republican rule.
In other news, married people have affairs.
In an interview for broadcast tonight on Nightline, Edwards told ABC News correspondent Bob Woodruff he did have an affair with 44-year old Rielle Hunter, but said that he did not love her.
Edwards also denied he was the father of Hunter's baby girl, Frances Quinn, although the one-time Democratic Presidential candidate said he has not taken a paternity test.
Edwards said he knew he was not the father based on timing of the baby's birth on February 27, 2008. He said his affair ended too soon for him to have been the father.
Well, this story certainly continues the Democrats have penises narrative that the press so eagerly salivates over (i.e.: Never mind the fact that McCain had an affair with Cindy before they were married.). It also shows a degree of hubris that is unbecoming: had Edwards been the one to secure the nomination, this could have been the October surprise that would have doomed the U.S. to four more years of Republican rule.
In other news, married people have affairs.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
The Chad Mitchell Trio
The Chad Mitchell Trio live on the Bell Telephone Hour. Fast-forward to the 1:25 mark. The banjo player is Roger McGuinn, who would later go on to found The Byrds. From 1963.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Journalists, confidential sources, and irresponsibility
Glenn Greenwald today:
That is really the critical point here. Source confidentiality is premised on a model of journalism where the media is adversarial to the Government, and safeguarding the anonymity of sources is the only way to find out what the Government is doing. But these days, so frequently, the media serves as an arm of the Government -- the Government uses the establishment media to disseminate propaganda and outright lies to the public (Jessica Lynch, Pat Tillman, Saddam's aluminum tubes) or even uses leaks to the media to commit crimes (as it did in the Plame case). When the journalists who are used to spread these lies or commit these crimes then conceal who it is who has done such things, they are complicit in the Government wrongdoing, key enablers of it.
By endorsing the sanctity of that Government-media relationship through shield laws and the like (which I've always supported in the past), it's actually -- perversely -- bestowing the Government with yet another tool to shield its misconduct from the public. Because the establishment media so frequently now serves as a tool used by the Government to amplify its false claims and promote its agenda, rather than as a watchdog against it, increasing the Government and media's power to keep that relationship secret is to empower the Government even further -- the exact opposite of what source confidentiality is intended to achieve [and, indeed, proposed federal shield laws provide large exceptions for national security leaks, which means that such a law would still allow the Governments to try to invade, and courts to destroy, the good kind of confidentiality (e.g., the CIA black sites and NSA leaks) while protecting the bad kind (where the Government uses the media to spread lies and other disinformation)].
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Friday, August 1, 2008
The silly stupid season...
Is Obama Too Fit to be President, the WSJ asks:
I don't know about you, but I don't watch movies, TV shows, or look at fashion magazines unless they portray god-honest normal, obese Americans. You have to draw a line in the sand people...
and watch that line get blown away...
But in a nation in which 66% of the voting-age population is overweight and 32% is obese, could Sen. Obama's skinniness be a liability? Despite his visits to waffle houses, ice-cream parlors and greasy-spoon diners around the country, his slim physique just might have some Americans wondering whether he is truly like them.
I don't know about you, but I don't watch movies, TV shows, or look at fashion magazines unless they portray god-honest normal, obese Americans. You have to draw a line in the sand people...
and watch that line get blown away...
Remember Anthrax?
Bruce E. Ivins, a scientist who helped the FBI investigate the 2001 mail attacks, was about to face charges.
What I'd like to see is evidence of motive. That's something I don't understand.
A top government scientist who helped the FBI analyze samples from the 2001 anthrax attacks has died in Maryland from an apparent suicide, just as the Justice Department was about to file criminal charges against him for the attacks, the Los Angeles Times has learned.
Bruce E. Ivins, 62, who for the last 18 years worked at the government's elite biodefense research laboratories at Ft. Detrick, Md., had been informed of his impending prosecution, said people familiar with Ivins, his suspicious death and the FBI investigation.
What I'd like to see is evidence of motive. That's something I don't understand.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Billmon is back!!!
Billmon writes about McCain's current strategy and what it means:
Billmon was one of the greatest voices of sanity in the 2000-2004 period, spanning the election debacle, 9/11, and the invasion of Iraq. A great analyst and a great writer.
But he and his new Rovian advisors now realize they won't have a prayer in November unless they can motivate the conservative base and (to use Lee Atwater's charming phrase) "strip the bark" off Obama. And they have to do it NOW, so McCain can pivot back to a softer, more upbeat message in September.
So that's exactly what McCain is doing – instantly, unapologetically, without shame or embarrassment. His enormous cynicism about the political process and his contempt for the voters – not to mention his vast sense of self-entitlement -- have led McCain to take the same low road as the Bush family and its various henchmen (Atwater, Rove): Whatever works; whatever it takes.
And so it’s finally dawning, even on his media "base" (ever the hapless clowns in our political theater of the absurd ) that McCain isn’t quite the straight-talking, straight-shooting military man of honor they thought he was. The White Knight has morphed into the Great White Hope – the GOP machine’s last, desperate chance to avoid the mortal humiliation of being defeated not just by a Democrat, not just by a liberal, but by a liberal Democratic black man.
Billmon was one of the greatest voices of sanity in the 2000-2004 period, spanning the election debacle, 9/11, and the invasion of Iraq. A great analyst and a great writer.
Notable comment
South Side says this, in response to a Matthew Yglesias post:
Actually, I think the day after the election, if Obama wins, the media will suddenly realize/care that we have a massive budget deficit, two wars, gas prices through the roof, and an expansion of the executive branch's powers never contemplated by the Founders, and will preemptively declare President-elect Obama's administration a failure unless all those issues can be fixed within 10 months.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Holy Cow
Someone in the MSM finally admits the Israel-Iraq connection, and that person is Joe Klein:
Honestly, having Iraq occupied by a close ally was never truly in Israel's best interests.
Update: More here.
Update 2: For a better overview of the hubbub, check out this.
I have now been called antisemitic and intellectually unstable and a whole bunch of other silly things by the folks over at the Commentary blog. They want Time Magazine to fire or silence me. This is happening because I said something that is palpably true, but unspoken in polite society: There is a small group of Jewish neoconservatives who unsuccessfully tried to get Benjamin Netanyahu to attack Saddam Hussein in the 1990s, and then successfully helped provide the intellectual rationale for George Bush to do it in 2003. Their motivations involve a confused conflation of what they think are Israel's best interests with those of the United States. They are now leading the charge for war with Iran.
Honestly, having Iraq occupied by a close ally was never truly in Israel's best interests.
Update: More here.
Update 2: For a better overview of the hubbub, check out this.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Cuil
Cuil is a new Google wanna-be.
However it fails the Literateria test: search for Literateria and this blog does not show up.
On Google, Literateria is the first result.
Cuil equals fail, imo. There you go.
However it fails the Literateria test: search for Literateria and this blog does not show up.
On Google, Literateria is the first result.
Cuil equals fail, imo. There you go.
Wordiness
Kevin Drum observes that traditional media is often too wordy in the wrong places:
And yet.....having said that, spending a lot of time on the internet, as I have since 2002, has rubbed my nose in something that hadn't really bothered me before then: namely just how overwritten so many books and magazine articles are. Seymour Hersh? He's great. You could also cut every one of his pieces by at least 50% and lose exactly nothing. And I'm not picking on Hersh. At a guess, I'd say that two-thirds of the magazine pieces I read could be sliced by nearly a third or more without losing much. That's true of a lot of books too.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
A suggestion
(re: the post below)
Instead of getting one's panties in a bunch over homosexuals openly serving in the military, how about we pay attention to the epidemic of military sexual trauma (a.k.a.: rape by soldiers on soldiers)?
It is incredibly dishonest to worry that homosexuals will lead to an increasingly sexualized military when our military--full of young men and women--is already sexualized, with some real problems coming from it.
Instead of getting one's panties in a bunch over homosexuals openly serving in the military, how about we pay attention to the epidemic of military sexual trauma (a.k.a.: rape by soldiers on soldiers)?
There are more women serving in the military than ever before, and they're in danger—but not just from combat. Last year, nearly 1,400 women reported being assaulted and raped by their fellow soldiers, in some cases by their commanding officers. The shocking phenomenon is called military sexual trauma, or MST.
It is incredibly dishonest to worry that homosexuals will lead to an increasingly sexualized military when our military--full of young men and women--is already sexualized, with some real problems coming from it.
Two Months Off
Two Months Off, by Underworld.
you bring light in...
to a dark place
walking in light
glowing walking in light
gold ring around you
the hues of you
the golden sunlight of you
you bring light in...
cool wind following
following after you
rising for you
your skin beautiful
everything comes natural
fantastic fan
rocking rocking floating
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
Shopping psychology
Buyer Beware: The Many Ways Retailers Can Trick You
Caveat emptor.
Other tricks, such as this one documented in a study last year, are more subtle:
A salesperson can totally alter a window shopper's inclination to buy something by simply asking the right question. When a salesperson asks a shopper which of several items she prefers, the shopper tends to skip the whole "Should I buy it at all?" question and go straight to the "Which one should I buy?" phase. The study was done in simulated tests and in real-world retail situations.
“Stating a preference appears to induce a which-to-buy mindset, leading people to think about which of several products they would like to buy under the implicit assumption they have already decided to buy one of them,” wrote Alison Jing Xu and Robert S. Wyer, Jr. of the Hong Kong University of Science and Technology. “Consequently, they are more disposed to make a purchase than they otherwise would be.”
Caveat emptor.
Fish pedicures
Fish pedicures: Carp rid human feet of scaly skin
At first this sounds incredibly creepy.
But if you think about it, its much less creepy than botox treatment--which is essentially putting poison under your skin.
At first this sounds incredibly creepy.
But if you think about it, its much less creepy than botox treatment--which is essentially putting poison under your skin.
Transformer
Transformer by Gnarls Barkley.
update: fwiw, this version is better than the one on the album.
This landscape of you
This landscape of you
twin capped peaks beckoning me to climb
beech forests of dappled sunlight
golden fields on hills
caves of unkempt secrets
pools of thought
and even when I hold you close
and feel your warmth
I listen to the wind
and hear you breath.
twin capped peaks beckoning me to climb
beech forests of dappled sunlight
golden fields on hills
caves of unkempt secrets
pools of thought
and even when I hold you close
and feel your warmth
I listen to the wind
and hear you breath.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
"A butterfly does not become a caterpillar,"
A butterfly does not become a caterpillar,
and a tree does not become a seed;
and like a butterfly or a tree,
no matter how fond we are
of what we have been,
we are each of us irrevocable outcomes,
in our cases
of decision and chance.
Our lives are mad gambles played with flesh,
and while some are horrified
at the bare bones nature of this high stakes game,
others revel with abandon.
I cannot not love you.
I cannot unflutter my heart
when I see your face
hear your voice
glance into your eyes.
What I do not know
is the balance of this love—
how much of love is a decision?
how much is chance?
Like a fire,
it began with a spark—
like a house on fire
parts of me are smoldering
parts of me are rapt
with conflagration.
I tug at the elbow of the maitre de jeu
placing even more into the game—
without really knowing
what the chips mean—
no one knows
and yet everyone plays.
I am playing as if my chips were on fire—
if my decision was wrong
then only chance can save me—
and yet I feel so sure—
surer than a seed or caterpillar
ever could be.
and a tree does not become a seed;
and like a butterfly or a tree,
no matter how fond we are
of what we have been,
we are each of us irrevocable outcomes,
in our cases
of decision and chance.
Our lives are mad gambles played with flesh,
and while some are horrified
at the bare bones nature of this high stakes game,
others revel with abandon.
I cannot not love you.
I cannot unflutter my heart
when I see your face
hear your voice
glance into your eyes.
What I do not know
is the balance of this love—
how much of love is a decision?
how much is chance?
Like a fire,
it began with a spark—
like a house on fire
parts of me are smoldering
parts of me are rapt
with conflagration.
I tug at the elbow of the maitre de jeu
placing even more into the game—
without really knowing
what the chips mean—
no one knows
and yet everyone plays.
I am playing as if my chips were on fire—
if my decision was wrong
then only chance can save me—
and yet I feel so sure—
surer than a seed or caterpillar
ever could be.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
journal
The word I distrust most is “I”—
I am not what I thought I was;
I have not become what I dreamed;
I am the unreliable
narrator in this story of self—
the path is either strewn with leaves,
or there is no path there at all.
I want—do I really?
I need—why? tell me why?
a constant internal haggle,
a marriage with myself
based on unfulfilled promises
and unfulfilling love—
my voice grates against my ears,
and so I whisper,
except when I don’t.
I thought I was moral,
but I have done questionable things.
I thought I was a lover,
but I left those who loved me.
I thought I was many things
I have turned out not to be.
If my personality were deconstructed
in the way these words could be—
“I” encompasses too much
for a one-letter word—
sparks of passion
wrestling with an ambition
that is uncomfortable with itself—
a boy tyrant shouting,
“This is the way the world should be”,
at the old man who whispers,
“This is the way the world is”—
a writer
who does and doesn’t know
what I am
(or is),
or could be.
The garden party
the sweet fragrance of wild mint
unfinished poems.
I am not what I thought I was;
I have not become what I dreamed;
I am the unreliable
narrator in this story of self—
the path is either strewn with leaves,
or there is no path there at all.
I want—do I really?
I need—why? tell me why?
a constant internal haggle,
a marriage with myself
based on unfulfilled promises
and unfulfilling love—
my voice grates against my ears,
and so I whisper,
except when I don’t.
I thought I was moral,
but I have done questionable things.
I thought I was a lover,
but I left those who loved me.
I thought I was many things
I have turned out not to be.
If my personality were deconstructed
in the way these words could be—
“I” encompasses too much
for a one-letter word—
sparks of passion
wrestling with an ambition
that is uncomfortable with itself—
a boy tyrant shouting,
“This is the way the world should be”,
at the old man who whispers,
“This is the way the world is”—
a writer
who does and doesn’t know
what I am
(or is),
or could be.
The garden party
the sweet fragrance of wild mint
unfinished poems.
China memories
Howard French on an oral history of China:
Master Deng's life, and almost every other oral history in Liao Yiwu's new book, appropriately subtitled Real-Life Stories, China From the Bottom Up, gives the lie to this entire vision, making this a deeply subversive book. I do not mean the reader should expect a tract or treatise on Chinese politics. Instead, Liao casts aside the official "facts" of events and replaces them with "memories"--with the resulting contrast between the censored record and interior consciousness revealing a post-1949 China that has never stopped being a traumatic place. At their root, all of Liao's "real-life" stories share something fundamental: a fantastic, dreamy and nightmarish quality.
Jury Duty
From Phil Nugent:
As it happens, one night during my jury service in New Orleans, my grandmother came to town and I took her to see Jerry Lewis in Damn Yankees at the Saenger, and damned if one of my fellow jurors wasn't there, in her real-life role as an usher. When we saw each other again at the courthouse the next Monday, she told me that she had been a little wary of me, thinking that perhaps I deliberately dressed the way I did in hopes of making the lawyers and judges reluctant to put me on a jury, but that after having seen how I dressed to escort my beloved grandmother to an evening of theater, she now realized that I just didn't know any better.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Quotable
General Wesley Clark:
You'll never get the country to believe Democrats can defend our country until Democrats start standing up to defend other Democrats.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
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